La Devi Smettere

Di Fare il Finocchietto... Il Finocchiaccio. Eh, uh, er... aiuto!
Stop Being such a Fag. That's what this girl told me today on the phone, then terrified by her own humor, she withdrew in a babbling mess of unfinished comebacks. And withered away. Elisa, stop being such a pussy. Embrace your political incorrectness and your homophobia. Like I care.
If something, I'm more disturbed by witnessing your embarassment, and projecting guilt over possibly provoking it. In short, I'm not responsible for your inability to handle name-calling and well-repressed hatred. Just saying, kisses!
Fag, that leads me to Alessio. Famous Finocchio in disguise, always suspected to be, but always lacking complete evidence. Well, the jig is up. Alessio is coming out of the closet. Watch what he has to say here:

Il blog di Linus: Teniamo duro

Scroll down till you find his comment. I know. I know. It's sad.
A man in his forties with children and responsibilities who tries his best at sounding like a teenage girl. I know, right?
I'm sure he trolls the internet posing as Cinzia or Sabrina and promising oral pleasures to other lecherous family men around his (real) age. No really... I don't know where to start... the seemingly harmless infatuation with Linus has taken the shape of boyband fan obsession. It's so obvious that Alessio doesn't want to be Linus. He wants to be WITH Linus. He wants to suck his dick. And the thought of it (now that I'm thinking of it) makes me feel like Elisa: Incoherently struggling to reclaim control of my own thoughts, while everything around me is obliterated by the sound of the word "Fag".
Alessio, Finocchio, Alessio, Finocchio, Alessio, Finocchio.... aiuto!
Now I'm crying.